How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
