What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
