why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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