scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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