Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
