It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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