Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
