he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
