When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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