He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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