My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
