Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
