I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
