just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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