He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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