I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
