I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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