did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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