had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
