Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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