Barsexuality is the new black.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
