sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Pooping to opera.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
