My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
