ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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