My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
being pregnant is like rehab
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
