Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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