I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
