what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
