Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
