Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you would pick up someone in the library
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
