I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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