I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
