he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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