Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize