yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
