Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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