I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
