i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
