did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
