i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
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Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
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So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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