I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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