I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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