i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
