Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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