You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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