Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
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I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
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Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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