Texts From Last Night

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  (972): View more from Texas

  I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.

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  (972): I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it. http://tfl.nu/h8bb
  Replies (7) Good night (834) Bad night (3218)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks

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  (210): Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks http://tfl.nu/5a6w
  Replies (5) Good night (7451) Bad night (743)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'

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  (757): you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse' http://tfl.nu/umk4
  Replies (18) Good night (10349) Bad night (1200)
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  (661): View more from California

  When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience

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  (661): When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience http://tfl.nu/gidk
  Replies (17) Good night (929) Bad night (5132)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.

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  (720): It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer. http://tfl.nu/gu1j
  Replies (8) Good night (1160) Bad night (1918)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?

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  (609): What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion? http://tfl.nu/x6xu
  Replies (6) Good night (669) Bad night (2039)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'

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  (305): New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made' http://tfl.nu/jx5j
  Replies (1) Good night (1059) Bad night (739)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?

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  (775): Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear? http://tfl.nu/c8pp
  Replies (2) Good night (1331) Bad night (598)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love

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  (201): for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love http://tfl.nu/brad
  Replies (10) Good night (3690) Bad night (725)
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  (714): View more from California

  Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.

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  (714): Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to. http://tfl.nu/rk2y
  Replies (5) Good night (728) Bad night (1420)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing

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  (661): Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing http://tfl.nu/34wv
  Replies (4) Good night (1026) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (830): View more from Texas

  Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?

  (210): View more from Texas

  Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine

  (830): View more from Texas

  drunken problem solving at its finest

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  (830): Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra? (210): Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine (830): drunken problem solving at its finest http://tfl.nu/2c5e
  Replies (2) Good night (1222) Bad night (431)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?

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  (203): Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day? http://tfl.nu/ae7l
  Replies (5) Good night (682) Bad night (349)
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  (530): View more from California

  hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back

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  (530): hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back http://tfl.nu/8xnm
  Replies (1) Good night (745) Bad night (347)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me

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  (607): Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me http://tfl.nu/qp3z
  Replies (2) Good night (747) Bad night (414)

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