Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Is it normal to miss your booty call?

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  (650): Is it normal to miss your booty call? http://tfl.nu/3d60
  Replies (9) Good night (815) Bad night (1220)
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  (607): View more from New York

  can we get nightvision for the apartment?

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  (607): can we get nightvision for the apartment? http://tfl.nu/dotm
  Replies (7) Good night (3131) Bad night (560)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.

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  (214): Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada. http://tfl.nu/cunl
  Replies (200) Good night (8083) Bad night (2618)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford

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  (804): so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford http://tfl.nu/pdng
  Replies (108) Good night (4200) Bad night (923)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea

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  (636): Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea http://tfl.nu/qpng
  Replies (57) Good night (639) Bad night (10428)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.

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  (709): She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship. http://tfl.nu/de5k
  Replies (22) Good night (6974) Bad night (1105)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.

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  (604): Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit. http://tfl.nu/890j
  Replies (48) Good night (2799) Bad night (9526)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore

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  (708): We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore http://tfl.nu/3p2d
  Replies (10) Good night (1988) Bad night (1073)
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  (213): View more from California

  Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch

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  (213): Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch http://tfl.nu/21eo
  Replies (8) Good night (2271) Bad night (731)
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  (415): View more from California

  So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...

  (1-415): View more from California

  So no fakes?

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  (415): So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail... (1-415): So no fakes? http://tfl.nu/49wz
  Replies (3) Good night (598) Bad night (1476)
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  (+33): View more from France

  He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands

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  (+33): He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands http://tfl.nu/mwrj
  Replies (3) Good night (1111) Bad night (425)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.

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  (720): So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword. http://tfl.nu/ujgp
  Replies (15) Good night (1905) Bad night (536)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.

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  (778): All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed. http://tfl.nu/ap4f
  Replies (3) Good night (352) Bad night (257)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt

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  (210): How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt http://tfl.nu/wi7k
  Replies (2) Good night (546) Bad night (240)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.

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  (203): Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork. http://tfl.nu/n6pn
  Replies (2) Good night (471) Bad night (222)

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