babies were throwing up all over the place
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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