Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night

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  (330): I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night http://tfl.nu/n6om
  Replies (28) Good night (1350) Bad night (4929)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.

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  (814): I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party. http://tfl.nu/nrd6
  Replies (16) Good night (3205) Bad night (663)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.

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  (918): im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song. http://tfl.nu/sv6u
  Replies (28) Good night (1272) Bad night (5828)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.

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  (214): Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand. http://tfl.nu/s680
  Replies (13) Good night (1330) Bad night (4656)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?

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  (225): I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty? http://tfl.nu/tsac
  Replies (21) Good night (4690) Bad night (1097)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.

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  (616): There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by. http://tfl.nu/au1s
  Replies (16) Good night (4784) Bad night (1574)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.

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  (972): My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B. http://tfl.nu/k9ee
  Replies (10) Good night (1166) Bad night (3600)
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  (562): View more from California

  Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics

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  (562): Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics http://tfl.nu/ne8m
  Replies (16) Good night (4389) Bad night (965)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own

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  (519): his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own http://tfl.nu/8vl5
  Replies (11) Good night (1817) Bad night (3739)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though

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  (406): I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though http://tfl.nu/qgj2
  Replies (1) Good night (1727) Bad night (868)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?

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  (219): How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year? http://tfl.nu/u8i3
  Replies (10) Good night (2675) Bad night (699)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.

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  (614): Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast? (1-614): Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry. http://tfl.nu/0ygg
  Replies (3) Good night (798) Bad night (1235)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....

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  (248): His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice.... http://tfl.nu/0jbe
  Replies (1) Good night (654) Bad night (1342)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.

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  (720): Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality. http://tfl.nu/zwr4
  Replies (0) Good night (490) Bad night (369)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic

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  (802): The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic http://tfl.nu/lc5z
  Replies (1) Good night (327) Bad night (329)

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