I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece