Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce

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(330): no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce http://tfl.nu/rmcp

Replies (22) Good night (893) Bad night (3123)
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(845): View more from New York

i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore

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(845): i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore http://tfl.nu/w95h

Replies (20) Good night (5528) Bad night (1212)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON

(651): View more from Minnesota

clearly you have your priorities straight

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(612): just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON (651): clearly you have your priorities straight http://tfl.nu/87z9

Replies (68) Good night (4626) Bad night (1285)
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(706): View more from Georgia

That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.

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(706): That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night. http://tfl.nu/8vqf

Replies (10) Good night (5111) Bad night (982)
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(360): View more from Washington

Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.

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(360): Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY. http://tfl.nu/nqby

Replies (32) Good night (1893) Bad night (7630)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays

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(913): Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays http://tfl.nu/wo2m

Replies (3) Good night (988) Bad night (1146)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.

(662): View more from Mississippi

Challenge accepted. See you in hell.

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(662): Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month. (662): Challenge accepted. See you in hell. http://tfl.nu/tj98

Replies (28) Good night (7270) Bad night (1069)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

He's cheating on her.

(973): View more from New Jersey

Are you sure it wasn't her?

(201): View more from New Jersey

I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.

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(201): He's cheating on her. (973): Are you sure it wasn't her? (201): I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her. http://tfl.nu/sbt9

Replies (6) Good night (1184) Bad night (729)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in

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(814): currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight (814): I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in http://tfl.nu/2u0u

Replies (17) Good night (832) Bad night (1617)
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(224): View more from Illinois

We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.

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(224): We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods. http://tfl.nu/n3ep

Replies (3) Good night (1901) Bad night (489)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry

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(715): Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry http://tfl.nu/21br

Replies (8) Good night (738) Bad night (1298)
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(435): View more from Utah

I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!

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(435): I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!! http://tfl.nu/1ljj

Replies (13) Good night (2100) Bad night (503)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.

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(423): NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney. http://tfl.nu/1vaa

Replies (2) Good night (1151) Bad night (431)
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(805): View more from California

I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.

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(805): I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you. http://tfl.nu/8wct

Replies (1) Good night (444) Bad night (256)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.

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(802): Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks. http://tfl.nu/vsd9

Replies (3) Good night (670) Bad night (300)

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