So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
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