Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
