Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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