no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
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