that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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