swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
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