At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
