I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
