we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He felt like a one man threesome
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
