i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
