Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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