Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
